so, why would i want to be the v.p. of pop culture? what qualifications do i have? why is my 16 year old step-son eating all the food in the house? well, i want to be the v.p. because i know what's up. i'm old enough to know the deal. i remember when slick rick was dope. i recall when the calculator watch was "it". by the by, just got a new one for my birthday. it's silver and real cool. i have memories of new jack city and how bad ass it really was. now, it's different, but it's all the same. instead of midnight marauders by tribe called quest, it's q-tip solo. instead of southernplayalistic... it's andre and big boy all by themselves, but still together. i get it. i'm down with it all. l'il wayne, gaga, kid cudi whatever. i'll hang with them and talk about puppies and libya.
what qualifications do i have. i'm straight qualified. i have skills. i have the knowledge and the patience to connect with people. it ain't no thang. my wife and i have mock interviews as stars. i always end up wooing her. when she is playing betty white it always turns out betty wants to marry me. when she plays johnny depp it always turns out i get a role in pirates 6. when she plays charlie sheen we just party for days. when i say party i mean we are in bed by midnight and half that bottle of cote du rhone is gone. ding, ding, qualified.
my 16 year old eats all the food because he is growing and has raging hormones. he eats because his metabolism is so fast he burns calories every breath he takes. oh, and he thinks i'm pretty cool. that's pretty cool, huh?
so, there's that. voting for Brian Kash is like voting for the beauty of majestic horses and the awesomeness of lions on the african steppe. boom, boom.
No comments:
Post a Comment